Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship:
Relationships are ideally supposed to make you feel loved and happy, but there are so many unhappy couples, who are miserable around each other but they still plan to stick together! So why is it that some relationships turn into toxic swarm holes and take a toll on your mental health?
- The idea of having a partner can make all of us quite dependent. As humans we have a natural tendency to look for company and share our feelings with one another, but how much is too much? That could be bewildering, as there is a very thin line between wanting someone in your life and being completely dependent on that someone. When I say dependency, I do not mean that a person could be only “financially” dependent (of course that could be one aspect),but there are higher chances of feeding on to each other for “emotional” dependency. This could lead you in a very unhealthy relationship. When someone is emotionally dependent on you, it means that they live in a world, which cannot function without you. They are constantly trying to draw your attention towards themselves and they want you to feel empathy towards them. They want you to feel connected to them in some way or the other and therefore they would do anything to make themselves “needed” in your life, even if it meant hurting oneself to get your attention.
- Am I pretty? Do I look fat? Does he/she look better than me ? Today’s social media generation makes us truly believe that we aren’t good enough. When we start to look for happiness in our physical appearances, we will always find someone better looking than us. How does this affect our relationships? Insecurity thrives in couples that are never happy with themselves as individuals, therefore they project this insecurity in their relationships. Constantly fighting over things like why did you like her/his picture? , Do you find him/her better looking than me? or even if it’s as horrible as imagining hypothetical things in your head that might have never even happened in real life and fighting over it. Once, I actually had a couple who came over for their tarot card reading session and they fought about a hypothetical topic like would you cheat on me, if you found Katrina Kaif naked in front of you and you were totally drunk? Firstly, think about it from Katrina’s point of view, even if she were to be totally sloshed, I don’t think she would want to hook up with your guy.
- Insecurity leads to jealousy and suddenly you are setting ground rules and conditions for one another. First , they were only insecure about you cheating on them and now they are suddenly jealous of your friends, family, mom, dog, neighbor etc. They make you choose between them and your friends or them and your family. They set up rules of where you can or cannot go, who you can or cannot hang out with, what you can or cannot wear and all these become signs of an unhealthy relationship.
- One thing actually leads to another and you suddenly find yourself stuck in the vicious circles of Lies. When someone puts that many rules on you, you start to lie about who you meet, where you go and what you do because you don’t want to lose that one person. Lying becomes a part of your everyday life and you have to keeping telling more lies to cover up the previous one. Lying is a very very tiresome and stressful process. But is it all worth the effort? Eventually, all the lying and the hiding is going to come out in the open and it all crumbles down into a big, ugly and violent fight. Sometimes it also results into fighting in public or hitting each other.
- Now that they have seen your horrible dark side and you have seen theirs, you both start to think of yourselves as these bad people who are somehow made for each other, because no one else in this world can deal with your temper and behavior. You start to feel like you need to be with one another because no one will accept a bad person like you. All the dependency, insecurity, jealousy and lying turns you into unhealthy couples who are no longer in love with each other. You are just with each other because you are obsessed with one another. Obsession can be extremely dangerous as it makes you feel suffocated and trapped. No matter how hard you try to leave one another, you somehow end up being together. It takes a lot of will power to end such a damaged relationship. You have to be strong and block out all the negative energies in your life.The first step to getting out of an unhealthy relationship is accepting that you are in an unhealthy relationship. Get professional help or share your issues with someone to get more clarity on what the real issue is and how it needs to be resolved.
To maintain a happy relationship, it is very important to love yourselves as individuals. How can you expect someone to love you, if you do not love yourself ? Don’t get sucked into a relationship that does not make you feel happy anymore.
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